Change the World, Prologue: Love Leads to Madness

By Clarity Scifiroots

Mature

Content: some regular timeline and then goes AU, sort of Spike-focused in the beginning, violence, insanity, morbid...

Angel/Buffy, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tart, Xander/Anya, Wesley/Cordelia

Disclaimer apply.

Summary: After years of emotional torture and tug-of-war with friends and love, Buffy breaks down... and she’s out to end things.

January 26, 2002

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

            “Good morning, you sure got up early - the sun just set.”

            Angel ignored Cordelia’s light-hearted greeting and rummaged through a small pile of mail at the edge of her desk. “Anything important turn up?”

            Turning away from her typing, she said, “And aren’t we work-addicted today? C’mon, it seems like you got some lead on wackiness when things have been quiet for days!”

            “Look, I’m sorry...” He sighed and paced away, then came back again. “I’m just restless; I don’t trust this long of silence.”

            “What be the matter?” Doyle entered the office with a carton of drinks in hand.

            “Nothing, so far. The boss is just on edge. Now... you didn’t have any thoughts on this, right?” Doyle shrugged. “See? Don’t worry about it, all right?”

            Shaking his head, Angel headed into his own private office to brood.

            “Guess we’ll just let ‘im be for a bit.”

            “Aye.” Taking on a new tone, Doyle inquired, “So, do you have plans on Friday?”

            Cordelia rolled her eyes and turned back to her work.

~ * ~ * ~

            “Thank you for...joining me this evening. I’ve just been a bit worried.”

            Willow shifted in her seat across from Giles. “Yeah, so have I... She’s been acting sort of weird... Not like herself, y’know?”

            The day before Giles had contacted Willow to find up how Buffy had been acting and what she was doing lately. He still kept track of her patrols - old Slayer and Watcher habits remaining - and the amount of demons she was slaying per night was impossibly high. Along with that, her methods were turning brutal and lengthy, turning into a style more like Faith’s had been instead of hers or Kendra’s. That was the main concern.

            “Was there anything that could have made her change so much? Was there something said, something that happened...”

            “I can’t figure it out,” Willow admitted. “I’ve tried matching things up, Tara and Xander helped me, but we can’t figure it out. It’s like she was the same old Buffy for a long time and then something clicked inside her and she changed, like, overnight...”

            Giles nodded, keeping quiet for a moment. “Would you think back, see if there’s something you overlooked originally?”

            “I would have known righ-“ She cut herself off and averted her eyes. “I’ve been such a lousy friend. I tend to... leave her out and forget to find out what her sad faces are for...”

            Furrowing his brow, Giles leaned forward. “Would you... describe them - the expressions, I mean.”

            She responded, “Okay... I don’t think it matters one way or another. She’s looked like that before. I mean, jeez, it happened all the time with...” Her eyes widened. “Oh... oh! I’m so stupid, such a bad, bad friend!”

            Looking helplessly at the ex-Watcher, she explained. “She’d always get the sad looks back when she was still adjusting to Angel being a vampire; when Angelus was around; when she got back from running away; and when everyone was breaking up...

            “I don’t know why I ignored it, how could I? Giles... She, well, when she and Angel broke up - y’know, right before the prom - she told me a lot. I never wanted to embarrass her or anything afterwards and she never mentioned it. I’ve never seen anyone so... depressed. My empathic abilities first caught on there and I knew for sure that she meant what she said. She was dying, her heart was dying, Giles, but Angel couldn’t deal.” She looked down at her hands, whispering, “Before Oz and I got back together he made a point that he couldn’t look at my pain because he had to deal with his own...”

            “So this all goes round back to Angel again?”

            “Looks like it. Should we track him down? Cuz you know I can...”

            Giles stood and headed for the kitchen. “No, I’m not sure that’s the best idea. We need to know more about Buffy and what she’s going through. His back was turned and Willow could not see his pained face and shiny eyes. He knew how much Buffy had loved Angel and in some aspects he knew he could also relate to her repeated losses of him. Somehow that love had progressed to a much higher level. Perhaps too high.

            “I’m sorry I failed you...” he murmured softly. Now was not the time for guilt, however, and he prepared himself for plans. There was an urgency bugging him in the back of his mind and he knew they had to work fast.

~ * ~ * ~

            “Get away,” Buffy grunted, annoyed.

            Spike’s stride didn’t falter. “No way, luv, I need to get out tonight and you’re just the person to follow.”

            “Then stay out of my way.” Buffy turned the corner, which confused the vampire since the cemetery was straight ahead.

            Catching up to her, Spike touched her elbow. “Um, pet, you missed the cemetery.”

            Buffy stopped and glared at him. “Listen, if you’re going to come along, then you go ahead and follow me with no questions. Do your own patrol if you’re not happy with mine.” She turned and started walking.

            Uneasy, Spike walked with her again, pace slower than before. ‘What the hell is she trying to do?’

            Buffy’s change hadn’t escaped unnoticed by anyone who had known her for many years and throughout her time as an “official” Slayer. Spike originally had looked on, surprised, when Buffy started her destructive attacks against the demons in town, but eventually brushed it off as unimportant. Her personality had turned colder, angrier, as of late and that got his full attention. She wasn’t the Slayer he knew and cared about anymore, and that was disturbing.

            “It’s my fight, you stay off to the side and let me know of anything incoming.”

            “Buff-“

            She was already gone, knocking the large vampire away from its prey. Spike resisted the scent of blood as he made his way towards the teenager to help her get away. As the girl stumbled off he couldn’t help but think she was vaguely familiar.

            Turning back towards the fight, Spike was astonished to find Buffy running through extreme patterns of kicks and punches. She held no stake in hand, no other weapon. Her arms were bloody - only from the wounds she was dealing to the vampire. There was a brief moment when the vampire’s human mask was clearly visible, but Buffy never faltered, only increased the attacks. A cold pit formed in Spike’s stomach.

            The fight continued until Buffy’s companion couldn’t stand to watch any longer and took up the cross bow abandoned near him and fired. The other vampire looked almost relieved before he was burst into ashes.

            “God damn it, Spike! Why the hell did you do that?” Buffy stormed over to him, looking ready to get rid of him as well.

            He gripped her shoulders, glaring right back at her. “Luv, I think you need to explain some things.”

            “Explain? Explain what?! There’s nothing to explain!”

            Gathering his thoughts together, Spike stayed silent for a moment and tried to understand what she was thinking. “You took a long time killing that thing... You didn’t need to. Remember? You stake early so as to not risk other lives.”

            “That’s not it, is it?” She asked in a low voice. It was cold, matching her frozen eyes.

            His thoughts chilled and he hid the beginnings of fear. “No, it’s not. Did you see the resemblance of that vampire...?”

            At that, Buffy smiled widely. “Yes.” She slipped from his grasp, still smiling, and picked up her weapons, moving on again. She glanced back, her grin still quite in place. “Oh yes, I’d never miss it.”

            Spike didn’t move, just stared after her. If she attacked so brutally, knowing who the vampire had looked like, what was her drive?

            “My God, this has gone way too far.”

            Disturbed, Spike headed quickly towards Giles’ apartment since it was rather late for the Watcher to be waiting at the magic shop.

~ * ~ * ~

            The knock on Giles’ door cut off their conversation for a moment. “I’m not expecting anyone,” said Giles as he got up to answer the door. The second the door was open a crack Spike shoved through and began pacing.

            “Um... hi, Spike...” Willow stood, exchanging a wary glance with Giles.

            The two watched Spike pacing back and forth for a time; he appeared to be having some internal argument with himself and made a wide gesticulation from time to time. “Dear God, man, stop pacing and fill us in.”

            Spike stopped and glared at Giles to cover up his other emotions. “This has gone on far too long. What is the matter with that bi- Buffy?”

            Ignoring his rudeness, the ex-Watcher pressed, “What happened?”

            He took a long sigh before collapsing onto an armchair. “Her patrol route was no where near what is should have been. She kept me at a distance, real cold like.”

            “What’s the big deal there?”

            Glaring at Willow, Spike continued, “We found a vampire and she went after it; hard and long, not at all necessary. The vamp had to have some previous knowledge of her ‘cuz he went to human mask. Slayer-girl attacked harder. I had to shoot the damn thing.”

            “Yeah, that’s what’s been going on lately... We’re trying to track down what-“

            “I haven’t gotten to the best part, children,” he spat the words out, still disturbed by the memory. “He bloody looked like Angelus and she was ecstatic with the knowledge of who he looked like and what she did.”

            Silence followed the announcement. Willow bit her lip and Giles sat down, hard, in another chair. “Willow... you said she seemed to be... missing him again?”

            “I-I thought that’s what it was...” The Wicca shook her head. “Oh God, we’ve got to be missing something! Maybe she’s possessed... again, by Faith?!... Couldn’t she be? I mean, this isn’t Buffy...”

             “I don’t know what the hell to believe. All I know is that she’s turned into something she’s not supposed to be.” Spike stood up again and headed for a bookshelf. He started flipping through book pages, looking for anything.

            “Spike, we have no where to start... Forget the books, I’m afraid the answer lies closer to home.” Giles sighed, rubbing his forehead with a hand. Frowning at the vampire as he began to toss down one book after another, Giles took a stand. “Let it go, we’ll not find anything there.”

            The blond spun around and threw a book Giles’ way, although it veered off target. His game face was on. “Then you figure out some better plan,” he snapped.

            Willow stood slowly, watching Spike sadly. He went back to pulling through the books. “Spike...” she said softly, “Spike... I’m sorry. I didn’t know you ca-“

            “I don’t give a damn about the bitch! Forget this, I’m leaving.”

            “We’ll need your help, please wait.” Giles went to block the vampire’s exit.

            Back to his human mask, Spike replied, “I’ll skip town and head up to L.A. and find out if any weird shit is up there. You work here.” He left with a vicious snap of his duster.

            Giles closed the door behind him. “Shall we inform the others?”

            “I don’t know,” Willow answered quietly. “I never thought he... loved her...”

            With nothing to say, Giles went about replacing the books Spike had thrown. After a while, Willow headed to the phone to ask for some help from the rest of the gang.

~ * ~ * ~

            Spike was true to his word. When he returned to his current hideout he loaded into his car and pressed on the gas, radio blaring. It was only about eleven at night and he would reach L.A. in plenty of time. Even if he had met the sunrise he wouldn’t have cared and it wouldn’t have been a problem with the blacked out windows.

            As he sped along the highway he tried to focus his attention on his surroundings and the deafening music. The lyrics were too jumbled to make out with his thoughts wandering to the main problem that was disturbing him so much.

            When he had been human, over a century ago, he had always been cast to the outside. His quiet habits cast off anyone that might have been a friend. His poetry was bad, but literature had been his passion. In the end he was rejected by the Lady he had longed for. He had been “beneath” her. His transformation into a vampire had given him all the power he craved, with all its strength and confidence. William the Bloody became Spike, and his original title created a new meaning.

            Since that point in time, he only associated with the foursome band of Angelus’. He’d never liked Darla, but Drusilla he had loved, and Angelus...? Well, such things were in the past. In recent few years spent in Sunnydale, he’d faced a lot of things and went through another change of emotions. For once he felt alive again, and ready to get out and move along for some action. He’d fallen in love; never before the stubborn Slayer had he known what that meant.

            “Damn bitch...” he muttered.

            He knew, but maybe no one else could tell, that Buffy had never fallen in love after Angel. Even as Angelus roamed Sunnydale there was something that pulled one to the other, and that kind of devotion scared him. Spike had watched from the outside as Buffy went on without Angel around. He had tried on numerous occasions to trap the Slayer, but she was too defiant and pushed him away time after time.

            Now things were taking a darker turn. The once wonderful girl was changing into a mass weapon of her own, attacking anything in her sights. Her friends had grown apart from her and she was dealing with things on her own. Somehow in the years passed she’d lost herself, her meaning, her perspective... Spike wasn’t too sure there was anything that could have changed that - expect, most likely, that Angel could have stayed, and the two could be together.

            “The bastard’s gonna get a earful from me...”

            In his time Spike had observed a great many relationships - anywhere from mushy and devoted to cruel and betrayal. He’d known some demons and humans who had hated love and would do anything to get rid of such emotion, he also knew those who had gone insane from the pressures of love. Now he only hoped that Buffy was not such a person.

            ‘I’ll kill him if...’ His threat trailed off and he focused on the remainder of his drive. There wasn’t much farther to go.

~ * ~ * ~

            “Look, Angel, just let it rest for the night. Nothing’s coming in for now so we can relax. There’s not much else to do.” Cordelia snatched the newspaper from his hands and threw it towards the recycle bin. “Doyle’s sleeping and I’d like to be doing the same. Besides, you’ve covered the paper five times all ready!”

            Sighing, Angel stood and picked up the paper, folding it and then dropping it into the bin. “Okay, I’ll let go for now. You might as well go get some sleep. If Doyle wakes up I’ll send him home. I’ll wait to see if there’s any calls.”

            “That’s the best I’ll get from you.” Cordelia gave a slight smile. She grabbed her jacket and cleaned up her desk. At the door, she said, “Hey, if Wesley phones, lemme know. I’ll catch you la-“

            The door slammed open, knocking Cordelia down, rather ungracefully. “Damn!” she cursed, glaring up at the intruder. She blinked in surprise when she saw who it was. “You have the worst timing, you know that? I was actually going to go home early!”

            “Oh so sorry,” Spike responded sarcastically.

            Angel helped Cordelia up before speaking to Spike. “Why are you here?”

            ”How’d you find the place, anyway?” Cordelia was back at her desk, knowing this wasn’t going to be quick. Doyle was coming out of his sleep and raised an eyebrow at the guest. “It’s Spike.”

            “Charmed, I’m sure. Forget the introduction crap. It’s not hard to find this place when you know where to look.” The blond vampire looked around the office to keep from beating the occupants into a bloody pulp.

            “I’d ask what you’ve been up to, but then again I doubt I’d be interested,” Angel remarked with sarcasm of his own.

            Spike laughed at that, giving a broad grin. “I wouldn’t say that right now. I guess you really don’t know where I’ve been... Heh. Wouldn’t you love to know.

            “Spill what you want or get out. You’re not welcome here.”

            “Well, well, isn’t that so? Still testy after that ancient struggle with commando-boy?” His eyes flared momentarily. “All right, want back story or just the current themes? Wait, let me guess, you want only the bare facts. Let’s sum it up to something easy: Sunnydale. Buffy. Madness.”

            “Buffy?”

            The younger vampire turned away, annoyed, even though he had known, that Angel only recognized the Slayer’s name. Angel’s gaze turned cold. “What’s this about Spike? What are you doing back in Sunnydale?”

            Laughing, Spike responded, “Figure the town’s still yours? It’s my home, idiot, and I’ve been there for years. Then again, you wouldn’t know a thing about it, considering you’re keeping your ass up here, leaving things behind so that it’ll all be ‘normal.’ The only times you’ve come down have screwed up, haven’t they?”

            “Whoa, back up the tape here and stop blaming Angel.” Cordelia was standing between the two of them now. “Damn, I never thought I’d be doing this... you two are acting like little brats! Calm down, would you?” When the two turned away from one another, she tried again. “Spike, get to the point.”

            The vampire paced to the other side of the room, mood quickly sinking back to ground zero. “So I’ve been in Sunnydale a while, more than a while. Thing is, nothing will ever be normal there, not for the folks I’ve been with. Things go far worse than abnormal, though. In fact, things have been shot to hell. No one wanted to see it before hand and now it’s too far along...” Spike crossed towards Angel, keeping his eyes locked and face cold. “Buffy’s out for blood. I heard about Faith and saw her once, and that’s who she’s turning into.”

            Angel punched him, snapping Spike’s face around. “Don’t lie to me,” he threatened in a low voice.

            Once Spike fixed his sore jaw, he glared fiercely at his Sire. “If you don’t believe me I’ll leave you to her. She’ll have love behind it, I’ll only have hate.” He stepped back. “Call Giles or the Witch, they’re making plans of what to do.”

            “I can’t believe this, puh-lease!”

            “I’m really lost at this point.”

            Cordelia sighed. “Sorry Doyle, guess you’ll get caught up later. But really, Spike, don’t you think that’s a stupid plan? C’mon, like Buffy would turn into so madwoman murderer!”

            “Watch her fight and tell me she isn’t.”

            “Why are you up here? Why would any of this matter to you?” Angel demanded, trying to keep the information from sinking in. He couldn’t accept it, it wasn’t possible.

            Coldly Spike watched him. “Forgive me for actually taking the time to let you know. Trust me, I’d much rather be back home and planning some chaos than saving your ass! But if she snaps back from this, and she’s killed you, she’ll never forgive herself. It doesn’t matter where you are, who you are, or if you’re living. Her thoughts are only on you!”

            “She moved on.”

            Spike finally hit him. He gripped Angel by his shirt, game face on. “You listen to me! Do you really think I’d just let her do this? To herself? I don’t care about the others, not you, not the damn Scoobies! She’ll hate herself, more than likely kill herself, if she does one shred of damage to any of you.” His voice lowered but the threat remained as underlying ice. “Maybe it’s all ready too late to help her but God knows I’ll try to get the bitch back to normal.”

            He let Angel go, turning away to lean against the wall as his human mask settled back into place. “Why do you think I tore up here to tell you, huh? Then again, you wouldn’t know. You’re a blind fool when it comes down to her and love.” Spike shook his head, disgust and concern mixed in an unrecognizable form on his face. “No, you don’t get it unless it’s spelled out for you.”

            Silence reigned for a number of minutes. The occupants of the room seemed frozen in time. Spike wasn’t looking at anyone, but Angel was watching him carefully while the remaining two looked between the vampires.

            It was Cordelia, with her usual tact, that broke through the moment. “Well, jeez, it’s so obvious you’re in love with Buffy. God, is there anyone who isn’t?!”

            “I don’t know her, does that count?” Doyle added to the mix, feeling quite out of place.

            “You’re what?!”

            The blond stopped glaring daggers at Cordelia to laugh in Angel’s face. “Good lord, you’ve proven what I said.”

            “Shut up. Keep your hands off her.”

            “Oh, so now it comes around to fighting over her and you act like it’s your place to claim her? Where the hell have you been!

            “Don’t we have a different focus, gentlemen?”

            “Doyle’s right. Break it up you two. Spike, you’re the man of the hour, so spill all the details. The boss might not need back story but I sure as hell do.”

<<< Little over a year ago <<<

            “Look at you.” Spike smirked, leaning against a park bench not far from where Buffy was sitting next to the pond. She didn’t turn to face him. “Here all this time you’ve been lovesick and yet you criticized me back in the Dru days.”

            “Shut up, Spike.” Her voice was steady.

            He strolled up to her. “Not so soon, pet, I’ve hardly gotten to play.”

            The Slayer didn’t respond, still focusing her gaze over the pond. Frowning, Spike sat down beside her and ran his gaze over the view. “Uh, luv, there’s not much out there.” Things weren’t turning out as he’d wanted - he had been all ready for the typical sparring of words but Buffy wasn’t responding. When he was able to think, really think, around her without such verbal wars, he started to have problems. Memories of Drusilla cursing him for being interested in a Slayer still haunted him... because he could never argue with it.

            Now he was studying her face closely, and his mood dropped when he noted the thin tracks of tears she hadn’t wiped away. He sighed quietly, touching her elbow gently. “What is it, pet?”

            Buffy shook her head, avoiding his eyes. Spike captured her chin and forced her face towards him but she closed her eyes.

            “What’s with the games, now?” He was happy for the distraction, though, because in a matter of moments he knew he would be staring into her intense gaze and he would see all that was wrong and all that was right in the world. He would drown.

            Eventually Buffy did give in, opening her eyes to glare defiantly at him.  He could see it, now, could see that she was afraid and hurt. Spike didn’t have to verbally ask his question, for she answered him steadily.

            “She’s dying.”

            The two words had taken all the remaining strength the Slayer had and she closed her eyes again, breaking into sobs that shook her body.

            It wasn’t something he could handle. Spike had moved away from gentleness, always hating to be so weak, but he had been forced to change as time went by. Buffy changed anyone she met, be it for the worst or the best, and he hadn’t been left out. Uneasily he released her face and patted her back with a stiff hand. She fell against him, the rest of her defenses falling to nothing.

            Her small hands - he had never realized how delicate they looked before - grasped his shirt tightly as she choked on her tears. As the minutes passed, Spike was able to bring his arms up, holding her lightly against him. He bowed his head and internally cursed his emotions, and doubly damned whatever cruel weaver of fate had brought on this sadness to his Slayer.

            At the time he didn’t beat himself over the last part, at the moment he was too caught up in his own feel of loss. He really did like Joyce Summers... She was an odd woman who had learned to tough things out. She was a good woman, really the first person in Sunnydale that had taken an almost immediate - well, after the open house incident - liking to him.

            “I’m sorry...” he said softly. “She’s a tough cookie... you shouldn’t worry...” Buffy attempted a smile but failed. Spike let her cry herself out, no longer did he have any other plans.

>>>Present>>>

            “She’s dying?” Cordelia asked, concerned. “Why didn’t someone let me know?”

            Spike corrected, “Dead. She’s dead. Shortly after, actually.” To himself he added, ‘And I continue to wish it had been some demon that did it. There needs to be some embodiment of evil to thrash about and kill.’

            “No one ever called...” Angel wasn’t happy, already starting to look uncomfortable with the story thus far. Spike didn’t care, in his opinion it was time to shove some evidence in his face so that he could see that Buffy needed him.

            “How was she after that...?”

            “Quiet...”

<<<Shortly after Joyce’s funeral<<<

             Buffy was in her room, packing her things into boxes silently. Downstairs Anya and Xander were busy putting general items into boxes. Willow and Tara were out picking up a late dinner for the group and in charge of distracting Dawn. Giles was helping as well, and continually checked in on Buffy, but she turned down his offer to help each time.

            Around eight o’clock Spike entered the house. The downstairs occupants eyed him wearily but he ignored them and headed up to the second floor. Filled boxes were all ready lined up in the hall. Tomorrow they’d be moved into storage and the house would go up for sale. He knocked on the doorframe of Buffy’s room as he came in.

            “How’re you doing, pet?”

            "Shouldn't you be out of town, the Initiative is down, no more revenge. No more reason for you to stay - forcing you to."

            The Slayer straightened and faced him with her thin, pale body and stoic face. Her eyes were ringed with shadows from poor nights of sleep. Spike didn’t even know if she’d gotten any sleep since her mother’s funeral, only a few days before.

            “The flowers on her grave are nice,” he commented, without much to say.

            She laughed at him, but it was bitter. “Yeah, nice. And every night during patrol I’ll be fighting and killing demons straight above her dead body!” Whirling back to her packing, Buffy tossed in her remaining clothes and shut the box. “Go away.”

            “I won’t do that, pet.” He watched for her reaction and caught the fear in her eyes before she covered it with anger again. “I won’t just let you go.”

            “Why not?” she demanded. “Everyone else has at some point! So why not you? What makes you so ‘special’ that you won’t drop me?” She was standing close to him, poking his chest with a finger to emphasize her words.

            Spike caught her hand in one of his. “Should I really answer that?”

            Staring at him for a while, Buffy withdrew her hand and turned to a new box. With her back to him she whispered, “Get out of here. I don’t want to deal with you.”

            Slowly Spike turned away, gazing at her one last time before descending the stairs. Giles was at the bottom, obviously waiting to find out what happened. “Didn’t get much out of her. Keep cracking at it.” The vampire was out the door before anyone else talked to him.

>>>Present>>>

            “What’s with the chip deal?”

            In brief, Spike talked about the Initiative and his encounters with the commandos and how a chip had been placed in his brain to keep him from attacking.

            “It was one hell of a deal...”

            Cordelia watched him skeptically. "And now the chip's out? Are you back to battle-boy mode or what?"

    "Or what; and I haven't gotten it out," he replied.

<<<Under a year ago<<< (Spike’s explanation in the present is much more vague)

            “Why are you following the Slayer around, Spike? Change into the new lap dog after she got rid of her first?”

            Spike attacked the vampire taunting him, pissed as hell. Buffy worked against the three surrounding her, using their closeness to her advantage - taking more than one out at a time. Two watched from the sidelines to get in extra hits when someone was open.

            The lead vampire still hadn’t given up his verbal play - he really couldn’t get winded - and it was beginning to grind on Spike’s nerves. Gaining momentum with some of Buffy’s classic moves he knocked the leader down and slammed the knife he hid in his sleeve through the leader’s chest. He was gone in a burst of dust.

            “C’mon children; let’s play.” Spike grinned, God it was good to be able to fight again. Two vampires rushed at him and he caught sight of only one fighting with Buffy. The kill was quick, and the rush of it all was exhilarating.

            Buffy dusted the last attacker and pocketed her stake. Spike came towards her and immediately smelled warm blood, her blood. “You got hit.”

            His remark received a glare. “Like you haven’t.”

            “Not from ridiculous runts like these.” He didn’t continue because he know his words weren’t arguing with her anymore, and he was a bit unnerved that she’d gotten hurt.

In their silence the two scanned the area for any other attackers. There had been a number of bodies buried that day and they had to wait and check if any of them would rise. Thus far no one had, but then again it wasn’t that late.

            Spike leaned against a tombstone engraved with a Celtic cross while Buffy continued to stand, body tense and prepared. As they waited, Spike studied the Slayer carefully, gaze drawn to her body automatically. She was wearing jean Capri’s and a black tank top. Her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail, baring her face and its stoic expression.

Her blood scent drew his attention to more of her details and he could pick out the drops of sweat that remained from their earlier fight. She was breathing steadily, but he observed her chest rise and fall with each intake and outtake of air. Finally he found her trail of blood, only being able to see it when she raised her left arm away from her side.

            Jolting back to reality, Spike got up and went towards her. “That’s it, we’re heading out and taking care of patrol later. That mark isn’t just some scratch.”

            Buffy watched him calmly. “Do you really want it closed up? C’mon Spike, I know what you were staring at. Didn’t you say you got off on this...?” She smiled, but it wasn’t even remotely related to Buffy’s typical expressions. She pressed close to him and Spike couldn’t move. It was already hard enough to keep his bloodlust at bay.

            Looking down, Buffy touched her hand, almost wonderingly, to her side, coating her fingers in red blood. She lifted them to Spike’s lips. “Go ahead, you know you want to.” Her body pressed even closer and she ran her free hand up his chest.

            “N-now, luv... stop it...” He tried to back up, but Buffy followed, laying a hard punch to his stomach. The movements she made were similar to her pattern of attacks she had dealt to Angel to make him drink her during high school graduation.

            It worked again, for when Spike stood up straight again his game face was on and the bloodlust held him. He pushed Buffy to the ground and held her down with his own body. He yanked up the left side of her shirt, drawn to it to feed on the blood running from her wound. The Slayer tangled her fingers in his hair, giving small laughs of pleasure and he let his hand wander under her shirt and cupping her breast. He left the blood, moving towards her mouth to share her blood.

            Some sense was making its way into Spike’s brain - enough so that he decided not to drink her - but he didn’t stop his other movements. He wanted her, badly. All the times prior this he was able to keep back with Buffy’s rejection of him. Now she was provoking him purposefully and leaving herself open to him.

            His kisses were brutal, harsh, but she met him with a force of her own. Overwhelmed with the onslaught of emotions flowing through him, Spike jerked her pants open and slipped his fingers under her panties and into her opening. She groaned against his mouth. He felt her hands teasing him, taking her time undoing his belt and the fastening of his pants.

            “Shit,” he hissed when she finally came in contact with his hardened manhood.

            Not caring to wait, he pulled down Buffy’s pants and underwear to her knees before slamming into her. She rose up against him, a smile decorating her lips. Spike slipped her tank top down with ease to have better access to her chest. He licked a trail along her collarbone and down to her breasts, all the while acutely aware of her rushing blood being pumped by her racing heart. The rest of the world flew away with the first orgasm and Spike let Buffy roll him over so she was on top and running the show.

            The things she did were a completely new sensation and he was too far-gone to stop anything.

>>>Present>>>

             “Okay, so you patrolled with her. Let’s keep moving,” Cordelia prodded.

            Spike cleared his head and hid a bitter smile. “Yeah, patrol. She was different. I tend to notice the quirks early, everyone else was in denial for a long time...”

            “But you denied it, too,” Angel stated, knowing the answer.

            “Yes, well... Her attacks were getting vicious. Little girl did well, she fights like a wild beast.” In response to their threatening gazes he said, “If the bitch hadn’t... it wouldn’t have bothered me. Now it’s just fucking wrong.”

            The blond stood up, took out a cigarette and lit it. He took a while to collect his thoughts again. “Her patrols turned into something else. Hunting, I guess, since she was out on the prowl to kill, for sport. She takes her time, torturing what she can and killing them when they’re begging for it.” He let out a puff of smoke and turned his back to them, muttering, “She gets off on it now.”

            It took a bit for that to sink in. When he was ready to face them again, he found Cordelia looking rather confused, Doyle frowning, and Angel with disturbed eyes - his other features stoic.

            “What do you mean?”

            Rolling his eyes at her, Spike snapped, “She enjoys it a little too much!”

            Cordelia stared at him. “Eww, that is like, really, really gross.”

            That made Spike want to laugh, but he felt the eyes of his Sire burning at him. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep Angel from knowing for long. Spike stared straight at him, waiting for the question to come, when he would have to acknowledge his wrongdoings.

            “Who’s she been with?”

            “Want to know her lovers now, isn’t that nice? God she’ll love that everyone’s dipping into her life, brilliant way to cure all this!”

            Doyle helped Cordelia get things calmed down again.

            “You two are nuts! Worse than siblings, can’t you be decent for more than five minutes?” Cordelia focused her attention on Spike. “Not like I really want to know about Buffy’s sex life, but I guess it’d make sense to know some idea of it.”

            “And of course I should know it all, shouldn’t I?” Spike bit back. Outside, the sun had started to rise, bringing forth the new day. “I missed the beginning part of this madness. By the time they dragged me into the picture she was clinging to commando-boy like a wet shirt - disgusting. Damn bastard...”

            “That your opinion or hers?”

            Spike glared at Angel. “You get a bloody chip in your head and see how you like it.” Spike paused a few moments, eyes looking away as his face tightened. “No, he was the best thing for her. Buffy swooned over him for a while, yeah...His new obsession with vampires  blew it to hell. He left. Right before her mum died.”

            Lifting an eyebrow, Angel prompted, “And...?”

            “We’ve never been together, leave it.”

            “So we’re in the present now, right? What finally made you come up here and talk to us - er, to Angel?”

            Spike had to hand it to her, Cordelia had improved over the years. Even though she was still tactless, she was able to control things when they needed to be. “For a while she was getting all weird with mention of you-know-who’s name, but not the whole teary-eyed ‘poor me’ look. Last night she practically stated it all openly...” Growing tired from his constant anger of the past few hours, Spike finished his report shortly. “Her attacks were increased against a vampire who had the general looks of gloomy boy, here. I don’t know what she would have done with ‘im had I not slain the damn thing myself. She was practically glowing with the knowledge of his likeness.”

            “I was right all the time!” Cordelia announced. “She’s a nutcase. Jeez, why does it take everyone so long to figure it out?”

            Cordy!”

            She quieted at Angel’s voice. “Sorry. What do we do from here?”

            The general focus remained on Spike. Covering his eyes in frustration he ground out, “I came here to warn you, you know why, I haven’t eaten, and I’m tired of thinking! Someone else make up a bloody plan!”

            “I can cure hunger problem!” Cordelia got to her feet and headed into Angel’s private office where the small refrigerator and microwave were kept.

            When she returned with a mug of blood, Spike had an amusing flashback of his time spent chained in Giles’ bathtub and of Willow’s spells. In spite of himself, he smirked.

            Things had remained quiet for a bit too long, so Doyle inquired, “What’s the amusement for?”

            “Nothing anyone here would get.” Spike eyed Angel over the mug. “Although it was really pathetic the arguments we got into over a wed- Um, never mind.” He finished off the mug and set it on the floor. “If everyone here is so daft, call back to Sunnydale for some ideas. Do I have to do everything? How can this place run?”

            “You call back to Sunnydale and get any updates or ideas. Cordy, Doyle, go on home and get some rest.”

            “Leave you two, alone?” Cordelia stared at them skeptically for a long time. “Okay!” She threw on her coat and was dragging Doyle out the door a second later.

            Spike went to Cordelia’s desk and picked up the phone, preparing to dial. Angel’s hand blocked the numbers.

            “I figured it’d come to this.” Setting the phone back down, Spike leaned against the desk with his arms crossed. “Fine, hit me with all those personal questions... Where do you want to start?”

            It was remarkable how Angel could keep up the indifferent mask. He hit at point blank, “You slept with her.”

            “Not slept nor making love, trust me, mate, that’d’ve been nice, but it was plain out sex.” He was bitter, hating himself and feeling so helpless when he thought about Buffy. “I’m not putting the blame on her, shit, I’m supposed to have control. It happened. It’s done, and when she’s back to her senses she’ll hate me and fall into your arms!”

            “It’s not that easy...”

            “Do you know that?”

            Angel narrowed his eyes, “What?”

            Repeating himself, Spike wandered about the office, “Do you know it’s not so easy? You haven’t really seen her for years. You left her behind, a poor little girl, and she’s grown up as one helluva tiger. You didn’t witness her change, her sadness, happiness, losses, or troubles. You don’t know her anymore and for now you only have me to depend on for information. I don’t think you realize how bad the situation is.”

            “Go ahead and call... I’ll go-“

            “Look something up? Let’s!” Spike’s sarcasm was going back to normal, oddly a plus at the moment. Angel headed into his office and Spike picked up the phone on Cordelia’s desk, again.

~ * ~ * ~

            “Keep an eye on her today, would you?”

            “I haven’t stopped...” Willow tried to smile but couldn’t pull it off. Helplessly she shrugged and packed up her bag and headed towards Tara, who was waiting by the door. She took her hand and rubbed it, trying to calm her.

            “She’ll be okay.”

            Nodding, Willow gave a half-hearted wave and left. Giles locked the door behind them - for once remembering to - and returned to the couch, leaning back for a few moments to rest.

            Spike had left last night and reached L.A. and explained the situation to the crew up there. He had called shortly after the sun was full and up, breaking up the small amount of time that Willow and he had found to sleep. Through the night they had been searching spell books and checking the Internet for information.

            Willow was hoping to find something about possessing demons or something of the like, too horrified to think this was really Buffy. Giles wanted to believe the same thing, but things were being carried too far and Buffy had been going back and forth between her normal self and crazed demon-ish personality. Unfortunately, it was starting to look like things had finally pushed her off that edge and into insanity, a line she had been tiptoeing on for a long, long time - too long for even Giles to admit.

            This had to end before someone other than demons got hurt. Buffy’s rage was expanding and reaching out to wrap the demons she fought in its tentacles.

            Silently Giles picked up one of the books Willow had been searching through desperately and began reading about various demons and spirits that could possess a person. “Wishful thinking...” he murmured quietly. Hating it, he closed the book slowly and set it aside. He picked up the spell book he’d skimmed early and tried to find something they could use to contain Buffy for a time.

            In the end they’d use spells, but it would be something other than what their original ideas were. Everything had gone end over end and inside out in Sunnydale and mixed things into a wonderful concoction of confusion and mayhem. As always, the way out of it would be something just as insane.

~ * ~ * ~

            “Since we’re stuck here for the day, together -“ Spike shuddered dramatically “I might as well help find some protection spell for you...”

            Angel glared at him across the desk. “You’re pretty focused this thing. It’s even making you semi-bearable.”

            “Ha, ha, see me laugh,” Spike said distractedly. His fingers were trailing over the books on the shelves and picked out the volumes he was looking through. Experience with researching with the witch and librarian had a lasting effect on him...

            After a long period of silence, Angel asked, “What did you find out?”

            Looking up, Spike rose a brow. “Eh? Oh, the call. Red keeps eye on Slayer, girlfriend-witch takes care of Dawn, and Ripper reads like mad. I won’t even mention the other two.”

            “Any other plan?” he dryly questioned.

            “Not really, mate. Right now the objective is to find some way to contain Slayer, to protect your poofy head, and cure all this insanity.”

            Hitting detective mode, Angel stood and started a slow pace around the room. “Did they give us any starters?”

            “Being civil now, are we?”

            “I’ll deal with you later.”

            Spike smirked. “Yes, peaches. They’re looking in on the spells and such that could have caused all this. I’m going in another direction - finding a way to cure all this.” The peroxide blond turned serious. “I’m thinking time travel.”

            “Time alteration?” Angel stopped in place, turning back to Spike.

            “Yeah, I guess.”

            “... It’s worked before...”

            “What?” Spike looked up, sensing a story coming up. Angel slowly turned back to face him, expression darkened with old guilt.

~ * ~ * ~

             “You know, Buff, we were planning on meeting up at Anya and Xander’s for the night. You gonna come, cuz it would be really fun!” Willow smiled hopefully at her friend.

            The blond shrugged casually, her typical silent and deep self that she was these days. “I guess it would be okay. A movie fest?”

            “Yeah, actually. Um... A real mix; toss in out favorite ‘let’s make fun of’-s and a few normal-ish things. Still in?”

            “Sure. What’s the normal?”

            By now the two girls were sitting at a table in the expresso pump and ordering their drinks. Willow ran through a few of the titles, “Ever After, Never Been Kissed... Tara and I kinda like Drew Berrymore’s performances lately,” she admitted with a sheepish smile. “But we got others, too - The Mask of Zorro, X-men... so some action things. Xander's insisting on Dogma, too.”

            A small smile broke onto Buffy’s face as she listened to her friend. It was enough of a surprise that Willow wanted to throw away Spike’s concerns because of that brief show-through of the old personality they all knew and loved. She was tempted, but Willow knew better than to let it drop in an instant. For too long the crew had been ignoring what was wrong, they couldn’t let it go now.

            ‘I just wish I knew what we were going to do about this...’

~ * ~ * ~

            “You what?!” Spike snapped at him. He paced towards the wall and took a number of good kicks at it to keep himself from pulling Angel’s head off.

            “It was the only way.”

            “Don’t give me piss-shit.” Spike rounded on him, jabbing his finger accusingly in the air. “That was a damned selfish thing for your nancy-boy self to do! Letting it go would have stopped all of this! She wouldn’t have gone any farther with the Initiative, I never would have built up any fucking feelings for her; for gods’ sake - maybe her mum wouldn’t be dead, there wouldn’t have been problems with Dawn...

            “You get the blame now, oh mighty one,” he spat. “You made her lose it. You went and made her fucked up...!”

            “Spike!” Angel stood his ground a few feet away, fists clenched. “Don’t start with me. You think those thoughts haven’t gone through my head, damn it?! It wouldn’t have been better. It never could have been. She’d just be dead and things would be worse.”

            Silence reigned as Spike turned away, body still completely tense, but he could find no words to help express his raging emotions. Angel sighed after a while and sat down in his chair and brought his hands to his face.

            “It had to have started earlier - we both know that. So... that’s what we’re heading for.” Composing himself, he sat up straight and met Spike’s stoic gaze. “We’ll move back time. Right now we need to contact Sunnydale and get the details set. I’ll go back - change things so all of this alters.”

            Spike continued to regard him quietly for a number of more minutes before he gave any input on the subject. “You sure that you can fix it? Seems to me the two of you made a mess of this, someone on the outside should try.”

            “Like who?” Angel demanded. “Come on, no one else will fit the bill.”

            “Fine. We’ll talk to the Scoobies about that. Other thing to consider, mate. Is this time alteration only effecting our timeline?”

            Angel lifted a brow. “What?”

            “Parallel universes, alternate realities - you know the drill. Time alteration at one time won’t always mean it changes everything. The rest of us will be dealing with this shit while you go flying off to try repairing a different world.”

            The other vampire was quiet in reply. He shifted his eyes away, trying to consider those words. Perhaps when the Powers that Be took care of the time alteration of before were able to change ‘all’ the worlds with their power - but if this was a spell cast by a handful of humans and vampires, the case could be totally different. But what else could they do?’

            Looking up, he said, “There’s no other choice.”

            “Yeah, that’s one thing you’re right about.” Spike’s lips tightened in a straight line as he motioned towards the phone.

            Angel picked up the receiver and dialed the number to the Magic Box while Spike took out a cigarette and started his nervous habit.

~ * ~ * ~

            They gathered themselves together amazingly quickly. Of course they were very anxious to fix all the crap that was going on. Willow and Buffy headed to Xander and Anya’s apartment immediately after school for the movie fest while Dawn and Tara were busy working with Giles in the Magic Box.

            Spike and Angel were to be there soon, having left in the afternoon and speeding back to Sunnydale in a blacked-out car. They’d argued for a long time over who was going to drive, and Spike eventually won.

            The “Closed” sign was turned on the window to keep out the normal customers. When the black car pulled up outside, Dawn ran out, carrying a big blanket with her.

Once she’d gotten them inside and locked the door, she gripped Spike’s shirt and looked up with worried eyes. “This will work? Right? Please say it will! It has to!”

            “Now, now, pet... nothing to worry about, it’ll all settle.” The blond vampire gave her hair a few strokes for comfort before detaching himself from her. “Where’s the bookman?”

            “Let’s not waste time. Tara needs more details, head to the back.” Giles stood just outside the training room door. “Oh. Hello, Angel.”

            “Where is she now?” he asked as they passed into the large back room reserved for Slayer-training. He was extremely impressed with the whole place and amazed with how many items were for sale within the store.

            Tara stood studying a book next to a number of supplies. When the rest of the group came in, she looked up and gave a small reassuring smile.

            “Everyone else is at Xander’s for a movie fest, guess like some happy memory time,” Dawn tried to sound annoyed that she was left out but it was only a half-heartened attempt.

            Silently Spike squeezed her shoulder in reassurance and moved towards Tara. “What’s the problem? Missing anything?”

            “No, nothing that bad... We just need to find exactly where we want to perform all this. First, uh, Angel will be sent back and then we’ll do the confinement spell.”

            “Right then. You’re the one with experience,” Spike directed towards Angel, “so where do you want to be sent off from?”

~ * ~ * ~

            Giles’ phone call interrupted them in the middle of X-men. Anya had purposefully not been told about their plans, just in case she slipped something (like she usually did) but Xander and Willow knew their jobs.

            “We better get over there to see what’s wrong, he sounds really worried,” Willow said.

            Buffy shrugged and got up. “Fine, let’s go see some action.”

            They reached the Magic Box and entered, Buffy going first. Xander held Anya back with Willow and himself. The Slayer was entering the building, feeling a little annoyed to know that this was going to deal with some kind of spell - judging by the numerous lit candles and the smell of incense.

            Before she got any farther inside, an entire group tackled her and worked fast to tie her up. Spike did most of the work and said nothing, blindly tightening the ropes on her arms. He helped with tying her legs while Angel bound her ankles.

            All the while she was snapping at them and struggling - often hitting her targets and knocking them off her. They were prepared, however, and she didn’t have a real chance to escape.

            “Okay, we gotta move fast, so um... right. Angel, stand right there-Willow worked along with her directions.

            Buffy watched, her struggling stopped as she smiled cruelly at her former love with a murderous gleam to her eyes. He watched on, horrified but unable to fully portray it. Spike moved her onto a chair and stood by her, Xander on the other side.

            Currently Tara and Willow were chanting and circling Angel, pouring a dust mixture on the floor in a circle as they went. The air started to sizzle with the magic and everyone watched on with anticipation.

            It was in that time that Buffy miraculously freed her right arm and with amazing speed broke off part of the chair for a crude stake and threw it. No one really knew how to react; Tara and Willow were already channeling the higher powers needed for the spell and no longer were aware of their surroundings, Angel was stuck in place in the circle if he wanted to finish the task, and everyone else didn’t have much of an option.

            Cursing himself for caring at all, Spike sprinted forward and knocked his Sire out of the magic circle as the stake flew in. He felt so shocked when sharp wood pierced his favorite coat, his other clothes, and his skin. It closed in and went straight through.

            He let out a choked cry as he felt his body come apart and tried to see her face a last time, but instead could do nothing but give into the order of events.

            Vanished.

The End

 

Ah! Don’t kill me! Jeez! By “the end” I mean of this... prologue(?) since there’s more stories (a.k.a. “cases” to follow). So no freaking, kaies? ;;^^ What do you think? Is this idea totally bogus or do I have something going here?