Omoide01: Meeting Face-to-Face

Side-story 01 to ”Code: O.M.O.I.D.E.”

Clarity Scifiroots

Rating: you decide

Content & warnings: yaoi content ((Sephiroth x Cloud, but also some other yaoi implications)), heavy lime, angst,

Disclaimers: characters of the Final Fantasy 7 realm are not mine, this story is for fan purposes only

Beginning Author's Notes: This story comes before my current FF7 piece - Code: O.M.O.I.D.E. - and does have significance to that story. This takes place before the game while Cloud is training to become a SOLDIER...

August 5, 2001 - August 10, 2001

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Yeah? Well, I was requested another three times after my first visit!"

"He hated you, you moron! You're way too noisy."

"Noisy's sexy, idiot!" the first fumed.

"Yeah, and I'm President Shinra himself," the other replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Time out, you two!"

Both men silenced whatever arguments were coming next and glared at one another. Lex sighed in annoyance. He was a natural born leader and easily could take control of the men residing in the Shinra troops' barracks. He was soon to move to a new building soon, as long as his promotion to SOLDIER went through all right - and no one had doubts about that.

"So who's tonight, Lex?"

Smirking at the man who'd voiced the question, Lex stepped up onto one of the tables of the lounge so that all attention was focused on him. Little did he notice that one face had not turned to him, nor was paying attention to anyone in the room.

"There's no requests tonight, so that leaves us for picking 'im out. So boys, how shall we decide?" He wore a wicked grin.

When no requests came in, often times there'd be a drawing from the names of those who would volunteer to bed with the SOLDIER; other times the group could be much more cruel, however, and shove in one of the newer recruits that had no wish to sleep with another man, or choose one of the ill-experienced boys who would end up disgracing himself in front of the most powerful soldier of Shinra.

"I believe there's a cadet yet to have such a privilege as this," someone remarked snidely.

"Oh?" Lex's smile looked purely feral, an evil gleam to his eye. "And who's that, soldier?"

One of the tall, muscled men leaning against the wall stepped towards a chair in the corner where a young cadet with spiky blond hair was wrapped up in a large book sitting in his lap. The tall man easily picked up the near-fifteen-year-old by the shoulders and carried the squirming boy towards Lex.

"Here's the kid."

Eyeing the struggling boy with a disgusted eye, Lex sneered, "That child? He's not even fit to be here!"

"Put me down, you bastard!" the blond yelled in anger, although everyone could hear the hint of fear that tainted his voice.

"Oh...so sorry, we didn't mean to hurt you..." someone teased from the side.

"Look here, kid," Lex pulled the boy up on the table in front of him and glared nastily into the boy's wide blue eyes, "you've got the honor of being sent up to a SOLDIER's room and giving pleasure for a night! Better not mess up or I bet he'll kick your skinny ass right out of here." Everyone laughed, quite looking forward to having the young, quiet boy shamed in the presence of the top SOLDIER. Currently the blond was blushing as he furrowed his brows and bit his lip tightly. "Aw, what's the matter, kid? What? Have you never been fucked? Eh?" Lex shook the boy. "Answer, punk!"

A soft, stuttered reply came, "N-no... sir..."

That brought more laughter from the gathered men and heightened their glee.

"Oh my. Well then this will be your first time." Lex's cruel smile made the boy cringe. "So, what's your name kid? Eh? Speak up!"

Keeping his gaze down, the boy bit out, "Cloud Strife..."

Lex pushed the boy out to the crowd in the lounge. "Someone fix this kid up and get him up to the room."

Cloud was dragged off by three of the older boys who had been holding a grudge against him since the first time he'd entered the Shinra academy. They were well prepared to get some nasty blows in on the boy that showed them up in a number of classes.

"Let me go! Put me down! Stop it! Please, just stop it!" Cloud struggled, but a strong slap to his cheek warned him to shut up. Biting his lip hard and his face flaming, the boy swallowed the rest of his cries and let himself be dragged away into another room where he was stripped down and then redressed in foreign garbs.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The day had proved to be just as long and boring as always - no big surprise. Routine was annoying him and knocking him down, why were there no changes to relieve the same-old daily schedule? Where were the bursts of excitement that had constantly come only a few years ago?

'You'd think that there would be some action for Shinra's prized weapon,' he sneered with the thought, narrowing his eyes. Sure, he'd play along with Shinra's games and act puppet at their meetings, but he made sure to let them know that if he so decided, he could kill each and every one of them with such an ease that he wouldn't even blink. 'Back-stabbing bastards, each of them...'

Annoyed with having nothing to do, he answered an affirmative to the message from some of the lower Shinra troops. Just like everyone else, they were using him, too. He knew that each and every man they sent up went back to brag to everyone that he'd bravely laid the top SOLDIER and touched in on his stoic mask. He snorted softly, recalling that each person he'd seen in the past years had smiled falsely, their cruel intentions and desires reflecting in eyes that could not mask the ugly soul.

'You're letting them take advantage of you...' a voice in the back of his mind warned.

"I don't care," he muttered quietly as he stripped off his gloves and shed his coat. Sometimes a quick lay was enough to keep him distracted for a time. There were those who were sent who were inexperienced and more annoyed him than anything, but then there were some good, hot lays that deserved some attention to even if their minds were full of dark and nasty intentions.

He'd made no request tonight, he didn't really care who'd be sent up. He was too restless, probably didn't even want to deal with keeping himself detached as his body took part in a brief time of pleasure, but he could think of nothing else to entertain him.

'Now that's sad. When did you turn as cold hearted as those bastards?' Snorting softly, he threw his boots down against the wall and ran a hand through his long, pale silver hair. 'For one night actually stay and actually feel something from the damned lay,' he snapped at himself. Looking into the mirror hanging on the wall, he gazed at his reflection of Mako-glowing green eyes and long, moonlit hair.

He knew he was feared, but he also knew he was the center of many rumors and cruel jokes. 'The same ones you fuck turn around and call you fag, as if you're the only gay man in the whole association. Why do you put up with it? Why do you put up with yourself, Seph?'

'Just shut the fuck up.'

It was irritating to argue with himself and he was growing impatient, waiting for his bedmate for the night. There would probably be another good fifteen-minute wait, however, so he decided on taking a shower. Leaving the entrance room of his apartment, he headed towards the bedroom, locking the door behind him before stripping down and starting the shower.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Get in there, sit down, and wait, Strife!" The older boy gave Cloud a hard shove, knocking the blond to the floor of the entrance room.

The door closed immediately afterwards, leaving Cloud alone to pick himself up and look around the room rather nervously. He didn't like the feeling of solitude that hit him and made him feel claustrophobic. The shower was going in the other room, he could hear it. A few minutes alone, not very long, he didn't think - didn't dare to hope.

With shaking hands, he pulled himself to a stand and straightened the short robe that he had been clothed in. He swallowed nervously and pulled self-consciously at the cloth just barely covering his thighs. He sat down at the very edge of the couch, hands gripped in fists and pulling down the robe to cover himself better while he stared blindly at the floor.

His heart raced in terror, remembering all the threats he'd received before being sent up for this. What had he done to deserve this, anyway? Why'd they have to do this to him? He wasn't interested... not at all. He was completely terrified with the idea of sleeping with anyone. He'd never even considered the idea!

Squeezing his eyes shut as his ears picked up the sound of water being turned off, his heart beat even more quickly than before, leaving him near breathless. 'But I'll be kicked out if I... if I don't do this right! I- I just can't...!' It had always been his dream to join SOLDIER, so that he could one day return to his hometown and show all the bullies there that he wasn't just some wimp, that he was somebody. He'd show them - he had to! For that he'd do anything.

Even give up his virginity to the man who had originally inspired his dream.

Cloud licked dry lips, forcing open his eyes as he listened to the sound footsteps from the bedroom. Too soon... too soon....! He forced back his fear and slowed his racing heart with thoughts of all the laughter that had followed him, of the beatings and teasing he'd been put through all of his life. 'I can do this! I'll show them... I'll prove I'm not some weakling...!'

The door opened and his head flew up, eyes wide. He had only seconds to school his expression to a blank look, which he somehow managed. Tinges of nervousness still showed around the edges of his mask, although he did not know that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sephiroth assumed that his partner for the night had already arrived; they hardly ever kept him waiting too long - usually in fear of angering him. He slipped on a pair of black pants over a loose, dark buttoned shirt that he didn't care much about. He knew from the past that some of his bed partners could be rather rough - then again, he could be, too.

Opening the door connecting his bedroom to the entrance room, he stopped in the doorframe, a bit surprised at the silent, pale figure unrecognizable to him. 'Must be new.'

From a distance he sized up the new figure sent to him. By the serious, closed look on the pale face he guessed that the cadet was around eighteen or nineteen; 'Good Lord, he's barely legal,' his thoughts shouted at him to send the boy away. 'But shit, he looks damn good.' That was quite true. The faint hint of a blush tinting the pale cheeks beneath sheltered blue eyes caught his interest. Long spikes of golden yellow teased his fingers, begging for a touch. The show of modesty by hands pulling down the robe made him want to laugh, even though he remained silent.

Keeping a cool look over his features, Sephiroth crossed the room, locking the outer door and then turning back to take a seat on the couch. The entire time he knew that the boy's eyes were following him. "I haven't seen you before," he remarked off hand.

The young man visibly jumped, eyes blinking quickly. "T-they just c-chose m-me... I'm.... not sure... w-why..."

Sephiroth mentally frowned. Why was the boy so nervous? 'Might as well ease in slower than normal,' he thought. Quite odd. Usually anyone else was all over him by now, taking place in tongue sparing and trying to dominate him, although he would never let them.

"You're so tense. Why not ease up a bit, hmm?" He folded a leg under him as he leaned forward, a hand covering one of the clenched fists. "I don't bite," he smiled slightly, eyes flickering with amusement at the shyness the other still showed, "unless you'd like me to..."

'Oh, that was bad.' He groaned inside, but found that his comment turned the blue eyes away in a hurry. He caught the quickening of breath - almost frightened sounding - but then it was hidden again. 'And what was that, may I ask?'

On their own accord, his fingers traced over the taunt, soft skin of the hand beneath his. He leaned in farther, catching the wide blue gaze. For a moment he paused, caught in surprise as he found himself, for the first time, drowning in the incredible blue gaze that stared at him with no intentions at all. Nothing cruel, nothing hateful. There was a hint of admiration hiding behind an open, nameless emotion that drew him in, but that was all. 'Who are you...?' he wondered, amazed.

He must have spoken aloud, for the quiet voice answered, "Cloud Strife..."

'Cloud, hmm?' He was sure that if he dwelled on it for a few moments he'd come up with something poetic. Before that happened, however, he dove into the depths of blue completely and firmly placed his lips against the other's.

Soft lips parted beneath his - little did he know that it was in surprise - and the moonlit-haired SOLDIER took full advantage of the opportunity and slid his tongue in to explore the warm cavern of the blonde’s mouth. He was surprised when no tongue came to meet his, to fight against him, and he pulled back a bit, studying the flushed face of the boy before him.

"You're not like them..." his comment was low, actually another of his spoken thoughts. Cloud seemed worried with the statement and looked down at his hands with unblinking eyes.

Curious with that response, Sephiroth pressed in again, capturing the submissive lips and losing himself in the warm pleasure of the sweet-tasting kiss. 'So cliché but... this feels so damn right.'

One hand trailed away from the loosened fist and began to stroke the younger man's side. A shiver came from the body beneath him, a wonderful surprise, and inspired by that, Sephiroth ran his hand back down to the barely-clad thigh. He was already feeling the effects on himself, and could feel his tongue roam more fiercely against the other's; his hand ran more smoothly, and with more purpose, as he traced the overlapping cloth from chest to naval, then paused.

Somehow knowing that he needed to be careful, Sephiroth gently eased his hand beneath the robe to catch the hardening shaft at the junction of the younger man's legs. With a sharp gasp, Cloud's head turned, breaking the kiss and hands pressed lightly at his chest. Still, there was more pleasure than fear in the surprised gestures and he leaned down to trail warm kisses along the exposed neck while his hand stroked the other with care.

'They wouldn't have sent up a virgin, would they?' Even as he focused himself with pleasuring the other, there was a seed of doubt and worry that was very slowly growing in his mind. The gestures and reactions from the blond confused him quite a bit - he was so used to experienced men vying for dominance with him.

He was too heady with desire to think clearly and could not straighten his thoughts to make sense, though, so he soon gave up on his doubt and questions and dove back into the foreplay that was intriguing him.

With his free hand, he pressed gently against the smaller body beneath him, urging the young man to lie on his back as he covered the smaller form. Small gasps were escaping the other's lips, and he felt shy hands fingering the buttons of his shirt. His finger's worked with Cloud’s, undoing the first button - it was enough to let the other claim a bit more bravery and undo the rest. With his shirt loose, Sephiroth pulled back to sit, straddling the thighs of the other. Blue eyes stared up at him from a flushed face, watching him closely.

Smiling just slightly, the SOLDIER slipped his shirt off slowly, one arm at a time. Once the dark cloth had fluttered to the floor, he guided smaller hands to the fastenings of his pants, breath coming in pants. It had been some time since he'd been so worked up over one of the men sent up for a one-night stand.

He arched into the soft, shy touch that skimmed lightly over his cloth-covered flesh and had a fleeting thought, wishing to make this something more. For only the second time in his life, he wanted to know this person who had been picked for one reason or another and tossed up to him. He knew it was too big a chance, knew he could be hurt much too easily, but the innocent look in the wide eyes as they stared up at him cleared any fears and any arguments. There was more to this boy beneath him. There was a character beneath that flushed face. There was clearly more to him than any of the other's he'd ever slept with, and he wanted to know every inch and every corner of that person.

'Don't be a fool...' But he wasn't listening.

His hands reached down, finishing undoing the loose cord that wrapped about the robe. He pulled back the soft cloth, revealing the expanse of beautifully soft, pale skin. The blonde’s head had turned to the side, eyes closed, but hands still undid his pants.

Leaning over, Sephiroth found himself doing something quite out of character for him. He was kissing an exposed ear gently, then whispering a few words of assurance, then a statement, more of a question: "You don't have to."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Cloud was terrified, breaths uneven in a whirling mix of fear and excitement and pleasure. He wanted to continue with this lovemaking he'd never experienced, yet wanted to scream for things to halt. There was something just not right with throwing himself right into a night of sex without knowing the other person. It had always been his believe that physical pleasures were built off of an emotional connection first. Obviously that wasn't how the whole world viewed things, but that's how he'd set his opinions.

His mind was fighting against the pleasure vainly, trying to make him keep to his ideals. He was so lost, though, with hands baring his entire body, and his own hands undoing the final barriers between two panting, sweat-soaked bodies.

'I can do this, I can do this, I can do this...!' The phrase repeated itself over and over in his head like a mantra, trying to convince his entire being that it was all right...

Then four words pierced his thoughts, giving him a way out:

"You don't have to."

His eyes flew open in surprise.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"...What?" The voice was so quiet, he never would have heard the question if his face hadn't been so close to the other's.

Hiding a quiet sigh, Sephiroth said, "You don't seem ready. Do you want to stop?"

"I... ye- I mean... I..." The words stumbling over in the young man's mouth was answer enough for Sephiroth and he pulled back a bit reluctantly, redoing his pants and smoothing back his hair.

"That's fine," he forced himself to say.

He stood, moving to poor a drink for himself to give his hands something to do while his minds raced around in circles trying to figure out what the hell to do next.

Behind him, Cloud pushed himself up, swallowing uneasily as he refastened his robe and straightened himself out. He was nervous, completely unsure what was to happen. When the others found out... He trembled slightly, fear gripping him as he thought about the beating that would come to him for 'chickening out'.

Sephiroth turned after a few swallows of a strong concoction and gazed curiously at the younger man who was beginning to shake like a leaf.

"What's wrong?"

Jumping in surprise, Cloud glanced up nervously. He didn't know what to say. Shaking his head, he looked away again.

"You are extremely tense. Why the hell did they ever pick you to send up?"

Staring at his lap, Cloud managed to speak, "I don't know."

Sephiroth sat, keeping his face indifferent as always, but inside he was frowning. "Did you want to be?" he prodded. Cloud hesitantly shook his head. "What the bloody hell..." he muttered under his breath. "You're name is Cloud Strife, right? I haven't heard of you."

"I'm... a bit new, sir..." Blue eyes still fixed on his lap, his body rigid.

"How new?"

"Just over a half year..."

'Just how old is he...?' he was beginning to note the mixed signals, and voiced his question aloud, casually. "Age?"

Cloud hesitated, finally answering, "Nearly fifteen, sir..."

For many dragged out moments Sephiroth just stared at the boy, completely thrown off. Then anger hit him and he grit out, "The fucking bastards send a damn kid to..." He stood, turning his back on the boy. A boy for Lord's sakes! How could they send an under-aged kid up to him for a night? How dare they toss up just anyone... His anger drained, however, and he felt his face pale, the knowledge clicking in that things would have continued had his lips not formed the words to give the boy an out.

"I'll... go, sir..."

Sephiroth turned, startled with the guilty and nervous tone of voice and surprised at seeing the fleeting terrified look in blue eyes as the boy stood, looking ready to bolt to the door.

"Just wait a minute. Sit down, and let me figure this out," he snapped. Seeing the swallow of fear as Cloud immediately obeyed, the SOLDIER closed his eyes, silently chiding himself. "Excuse me. I'm not angry at you. Just a moment." He entered the bedroom, grabbing a pair of clothes for the boy and tossing them over when he reentered the room. "They'll be too big but they'll have to do."

Surprise showed in the boy's wide eyes. Sephiroth turned away, returning to his drink while he listened to the rustle of cloth while the other changed. 'Just what in the hell were they thinking?' Immediately the next day he would ensure that none of those soon to be promoted were allowed to move up. 'Back-stabbing bastards...'

Once Cloud had finished dressing, he worked at rolling up the long pants and sleeves. When Sephiroth turned back around to face him, he found an adorable image awaiting him. He bit the inside of his lip to keep from laughing - the blond was having quite a bit of trouble with rolling one of the sleeves of the shirt. The clothes covered his body more like a blanket than anything, too big for the boy. Finally he finished rolling the sleeve and looked nervously at Sephiroth when the SOLDIER sat down.

“Listen, I know you can’t return to the soldiers’ barracks tonight or they’ll start bugging you for being turned down. You don’t deserve that, they were the ones making a mistake of sending you up.” He hid his anger about the situation, trying to keep the other as calm as possible. “When you go back tomorrow, don’t say anything in response to their questions. Occasionally I’ll ask you up, you need never to say anything and you don’t need to do anything here.”

Blue eyes widened and blinked in surprise. “But...?”

“I’ve dealt with those men before and you’re completely different from then, of course they would bother you. This way you can have a break. Deal?”

Lips parted, Cloud openly stared at him for a few moments. “Really...?”

The disbelief on the other’s face nearly broke his heart. God, did the boy know no kindness given to him? He nodded and stood. “I want you to meet someone sometime soon - he was sent up as you were, but immediately told me off.” He hid the smile that tempted to lighten his face. “Ever since, we have been training together. You could begin training with him - his help will do better than any of the lessons they teach you in the beginning.

“But for now, I’ll get you a blanket and pillow. Are you all right with sleeping on the couch?” He began heading towards the bedroom. An affirmative followed him. When he returned with the promised items, he handed them over. Sephiroth had to push back against the urge to continue what he had started earlier with the boy; but he was too young, and had such an unusual mix of innocence and jaded.

“T-thank you...”

Sephiroth just nodded and turned back to his room. He stopped in the doorway, looking back at the boy who curled himself up in the blanket and lay on his side, staring blankly across the room. He shut off the light and closed his door. Not even preparing for bed, he lay back on the bed and turned off the light.

‘I wonder... why did he affect me...’ No one else ever had that sort of control over him - he didn’t allow it and couldn’t stand it, but yet, this didn’t seem too bad. ‘You’re screwing yourself into something...’ he told himself. Somehow, that didn’t matter anymore.

~~~Owari~~~