Underneath the Surface
Clarity Scifiroots
Rating: ?? pg?
Content: shonen-ai hints, perhaps, depends how you read it. Sephiroth focused, songfic, kind of odd...
Disclaimers apply
AN: Um... ::scratches head:: no idea where this came from. It just popped up as I thought to look at the lyrics for Crawling and realized it'd make a good songfic. This isn't that great of story, ::sigh::, but I suppose I can still use the excuse that I'm new to the Final Fantasy fandom. ;;U_U
Song is "Crawling" by
August 7, 2001
//Crawling in my skin
These wounds / they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real\\
There had always been something different about him. He'd
always known it, but preferred to not acknowledge it. At first it was his
incredible ability to learn so quickly, to move so fast and fluidly; then to
his strength and power in battle; his skills in the war.
Such a strong figure... muscled
form extraordinarily beautiful. That body and his status was
so extremely coveted by everyone and anyone. No one could out match him. No one
could defeat him. No one could change him...
But, that carefully built structure had a hairline crack.
Two names were known to him, and although he did not know just "who"
the one woman was, he did know the sadistic, crazed scientist. That crack,
filled with an uncertain opinion of "Mother", was easily widened and
began to splinter when the name scrawled about a Mako reactor door was seen.
"Jenova...?"
Fierce anger, strong hurt, fear... The perfect being's
shell had cracked too much, and lowly mortal emotions found their way to tear
apart the brain and alter the thoughts of the silent, indifferent young man.
"... I've always felt since I was small... That I was different from the others. Special,
in some way. But... not like this...
"Am I the same as all these monsters? Am I...
human?"
Despair.
//There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming / confusing\\
The basement lights of Nibelhiem's
'I'm different...
I'm...
'...alone...'
The childlike cry of despair was soon overpowered by the
foreign, warmed voice that flowed gently into his mind. Assuring
that he stood above everyone because
he was different. That wasn't bad - was it? Not different... special!
Special, yes...
'But why...? Why
above-?'
|Special! More powerful than the weak
mortals! Better than everyone! Take your claim!|
'I...
no... It’s not...right...'
Confused.
//This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling / I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in\\
"Sephiroth...?"
He whirled around, eyes narrowing at the two forms that
had just stepped into the laboratory. "I'm busy! Leave!"
"Um... are... do you need something? We have food
and-"
"Food? Food?!
Why would I need food!"
He laughed, snapping the book in hand shut. "Get out." He turned,
determined to ignore the fools who had interrupted him. There was still another
shelf of books to read, he was longing to read them, see what conclusions the
experiments came to.
"Hey, Seph, come on and
get some rest, at least..." The SOLDIER moved forward, following after
Sephiroth into the library. "C'mon! Cut the crap and listen to me!"
"I have no need to listen to you, fool," came the cool response.
"Shit, man, get a grip!" Zack started forward,
crossing the space between them with only a few steps. His hand reached out,
resting on the black-clad arm.
Jade eyes narrowed. Sephiroth backhanded his one-time
friend. The black-haired SOLDIER skidded back, hitting the corner of the table
painfully.
"Zack!"
"Never mind, kid, stay back!"
"But-!"
"Get out. Get out now or I'm going to kill you idiots!"
Zack began backing away, one hand out in front of the
younger man with him. His dark eyes stared out at his friend from a drawn and
serious face. "Get a grip, Seph..." he
murmured as he disappeared with his companion back to the hall.
Scared.
//[Without a sense of
confidence / I’m convinced
there's just too much pressure to take]
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure\\
'Zack...? Zack?! No, wait! Tell me... tell me who I am! No, what I am! I...'
|You're
doing so much better without them. Let them be, they've finally left you alone.|
'...just
don't...'
|Think
of the power you can claim!|
'...know...'
|Come!
Come to me! Let us abandon these fool mortals and take our rightful place!|
'...I
just don't know who I am...'
Lost.
//Crawling in my skin
These wounds / they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real\\
Fire. The heat of the bloody
gold flames refused to touch him, however. As if he were
completely immune to any physical contact...
|You are so much
more than them. You... you have this power!|
"...Power..." Tendrils of smoke rose into the
air and filled his nose. He did not cough, he was
above such a foolish, mortal gesture.
|You are
special...|
|Come
to me... come to me now!|
A small smile crossed his lips as he turned, walking
easily through the flames and towards the mountain path. "I'm coming...
Mother..."
Entranced.
//Discomfort, endlessly has
pulled itself upon me
Distracting / reacting\\
Everyone had always stared at him in awe, admiration, and
terror. Never anything akin to loving or caring.
Always coveting or fearing... No one wanted to be close. With nothing to drag
his attention away, he could focus on training almost constantly. His perfect
body became strengthened even further.
The perfect creation. Completely untouchable.
Someone dared to touch, him, however. Someone had reached
out their hand to him to pull him to a stand and head towards the dance floor.
So unexpected was it that the cases that had been placed around him where
hurriedly knocked aside and broken. That person had been such a distraction;
making faces at him across the training hall, or during boring lectures...
Telling jokes at meal times and in the hall... Dragging him,
always, onto the dance floor of the lounge cafe.
People would stop and stare, so stunned to see the
perfect being pulled off from the shelf and move about to play - to smile - and
even, on occasion, laugh.
'Zack...?!'
|You don't need
anyone!|
Unsure.
//Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It’s haunting how I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in\\
"I am here, Mother."
He stepped over the slumped man he had just killed and
paid no heed to the female scream that came from above. He moved, almost
mechanically, through the dividing wall and began ascending the steps, hands at
his sides - fingers twitching in anticipation.
|Come! Come, my
child!|
"You murderer!"
Turning, he looked down calmly at the young girl who ran
up the stairs after him, his own sword in her hands as she charged at him. She
reached him, but she was so weak... so mortal.
The perfect being disarmed her, took back his sword - swung at her.
Like an old rag doll she tumbled and bounced down the
stairs, landing near the bottom. He smiled. Silly thing.
Foolish little mortal.
He returned his gaze to the door behind him. This was it.
One hand reached out and pressed open the door. He
entered, walking smoothly, and glided straight up to the metal cover that
enclosed the one he was meant to see. "Here I am."
"They won't take anything away from you now."
|My child, my dear
child. Let me free! Let us fly!|
Accepted.
//[Without a sense of confidence / I’m convinced
there's just too much pressure to take]
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure...\\
Five years later. Only a length of
time. Time... it didn't matter.
|You are awake.|
'Mother?'
|We
are taking the world.|
He saw through his mind's eye, saw black-caped,
featureless clones... Searching... searching... Then...
Himself. A
mirror - looking exactly the same, but with a twisted smirk.
'No... I-'
|We
are winning.|
President Shinra
- dead. Shinra employees - dead... their blood staining nearly every inch of the
huge building.
'...My...hands?'
They were coming, all of the clones were coming, he could
sense them, feel them, see them. He was
them.
|They are yours for
controlling!|
The power lay in his hands.
|He is yours for controlling...| it
came to him as a low, excited whisper. |Just
try it... just try it!|
-
"...That reminds me." -
="You
again?...Who are you?"=
'Again? Who...?'
-"...You'll
find out soon. ......But more importantly, five years ago..."-
="Five
years ago... Nibelheim?"=
-"When
you went to
="Yeah....
I was surprised."=
-"But
where was Tifa other than that?"-
'...Nibelheim...that... Strife! Cloud...?!'
="...I
dunno."=
-"It
was a great place for you two to see each other again."-
="...You're
right."=
-"Why couldn't you see each other alone?"-
="...I
don't know. I can't remember clearly..."=
-"Why don't you try asking Tifa?"-
="...Yeah."=
-"Then,
get up!"-
Confused once again.
//Crawling in my skin
These wounds / they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real\\
Pain... so much pain!
It was all lies... he knew it, now. He knew everything had been wrong. His mind
screamed, cried, wept... trying to get away from the pain and from the strange
creature that had somehow taken hold of him. No! No... it
couldn't be... He let himself be entranced by a lie? Had let himself follow a path carved
by someone else?
He was completely alone. The opponents
- his opponents? - had wounded him too deeply, too much. 'Is there... no life for me...?'
The presence he had called "Mother" for so long
had disappeared. Where was she? Dead...? His friend was dead. His... former
companion... was watching... watching as he
began to fall into oblivion.
They were walking away! His opponents were leaving! Ha! Even left alone by his enemy's? How
truly ironic! How truly hysterical.
//There’s something inside me
that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming / confusing\\
No... he wasn't going to leave
alone... there was still one more to take... He chuckled darkly. His mind, too
warped and ruined with all the lies, worked quickly and he reached out,
touching teasingly at the mind of the remaining clone. 'Come with me...!' he hissed quietly.
He waited in the dark space. No, he wouldn't be unfair;
no matter how badly he wished to drag along company. He would treat this young
clone to a battle... one last one. 'Lose
and you join me...' he smiled slightly, ignoring the emotional pain
wrenching his insides. 'Win... and
you....' he trailed off with the thought.
'He's here.'
He raised the Masamune up,
standing calmly in the ready position. His lone opponent dropped before him.
Blue eyes narrowed, gazing determinedly at him across the space between them.
Echoes of the blonde's memories trickled into Sephiroth's mind; he could see
the recent days full of company and friends... caring...
'How dare he... how
dare he have...!' How dare he
have what he had always so desired.
Tightening his grip, he prepared for the block as the
other bore down on him. It took only a few seconds to realize...
'It's... Zack's technique!' His eyes widened in surprise and
with...
Understanding.
//Confusing, confusing what
is real
This lack of self-control I
fear is never ending
Controlling\\
~ You can stop now.
It's all right. ~
Strangely the voice was familiar... For the first time he
heard a trust-worthy voice. Looking up, he stared, standing still as the wide
beam bore down on him. It... didn't matter anymore.
The hatred had vanished because...
'I think I
understand, finally.'
= You're not alone,
Seph. =
'I'm sorry.'
~= It's okay. =~
The blade was cutting into him, tearing him, but he no
longer cared. It was all right, now... he had someplace to go... someplace
where he wouldn't be alone. As the younger warrior drew back, he saw the thick,
mixed emotions in his eyes.
He smirked faintly. "Omnislash,"
he murmured.
A surprised look reflected from the blue eyes, and then a
tendril of sadness betrayed something deeper.
'I'm fine...'
//Confusing what is real\\
He closed his eyes.
= No more lies, Seph. =
Warm, gentle arms were surround
him and he was taken away from his body, he could feel the pulling apart of his
soul and physical being.
~ You'll be okay
here... ~
His eyes opened and was greeted
by a familiar out-stretched hand. A confident smile remained, as always, pasted
on the face of an old friend. "Hey." The woman beside him was also
familiar. She was still smiling... it never had faltered...
"I..."
The young woman smiled wider at him. "You needn't
say anything. You've reached what you deserve..."
'This is...?!'
~ There is a
Promised Land. ~
~OWARI~
AN: Okay, to clear
this up, yes I did use some of the script from the game for some of the
dialogue. You probably picked out where it is. Anyway, no, I don’t
believe it’s Sephiroth who’s in Cloud’s head early on - prodding him to ask Tifa about Nibelheim and such. I
think that’s Zack, personally. ::shrugs:: I don’t know what anyone else
thinks... but I changed it a bit in this story, it worked better to have it
being Sephiroth who contacted Cloud. I know this was an odd little thing... I
hope my readers find it an okay read, however. ;;^^
Even when I don’t like my work, I try to keep a bit better out-look on it.
Well, as always C&C is quite nice to receive but not shamelessly begged
for, lol! ^_^V