Darling, Make it Go Away
By Clarity Scifiroots
Regular disclaimers apply.
Title from Kate Bush’s “This Woman’s Work”
House/Wilson
Teen
Summary:
Watched “Autopsy” tonight and in a Without a Trace episode there was this beautiful song
“This Woman’s Work” by Kate Bush; this story is the result. House loses a
patient; this is the aftermath, and
May!fic 11 of 31
---
He blames the family. Their inability to make a decision costs them their daughter’s life. He doesn’t lose patients! He feels little for his patients, usually even less when it’s a child because everyone else goes into pitiful emotional overdrive. But the failures make an impact he can’t ignore.
God damn idiotic parents took too long to decide! Fuck them.
When the hell did he start following the rules? Why the hell did he follow them this time? Legal bullshit isn’t his worry when he’s on a case. Why didn’t he press harder?
---
On the last day of the conference,
Her silence makes something twist in his gut. “Lisa, what’s going on?”
---
Stupid bastard, he snorts contemptuously. You know whose fault it is.
House finishes the last of his beer and flings it into the sink. The bottle breaks diagonally, three big pieces and small slivers of glass scattering on the stainless steel. He shuts his eyes and rubs a hand over his face. His head pounds, stabbing pain shoots through his leg, and he feels like he’s swallowed a gallon of ice water. Fuck.
He reaches for another Vicodin—they’re all over the counter, spilled when he had trouble opening the damn cap. He chokes it down and throws open a cupboard. A stack of perfectly matched plates—a gift from someone he can’t remember—wait within. He grabs the top one and hefts it in his hand, analyzing.
Abruptly he throws it like a Frisbee and it crashes against the wall next to the fridge. The porcelain shatters and drops to the floor, pieces of a puzzle. He limps over and stares at the mess. To put it together again is perilous with all the sharp edges; requires exact precision so that every piece is perfectly aligned and joined in the correct place; takes more time than he’s willing to dedicate.
House’s jaw tightens and he smashes his cane down on the pieces, listening intently to the crunch as the porcelain is ground into power.
Didn’t keep on top of it. Didn’t care about the timing. Too fucking slow.
---
He knocks before using the key. There’s no answer as he
steps in and calls a quiet “hello?” The TV is on mute, some old western playing
out its drama in black and white on the screen.
Tendrils of worry begin to knot in his gut. He looks up and
sees the cap of a pill bottle and a spill of pills across the counter. Shit!
He rushes to the bedroom and finds the bed actually made. What the hell?
Blood’s rushing in his ears and he wonders if he’ll be able to hear if House demands to know who’s running around his rooms.
Swallowing the sense of panic,
“God, you scared me,”
“No,” House growls.
House whacks away
“House,” Wilson says in a no-nonsense tone. “You’ve been sufficiently self-destructive for the night. Get up.” He stands up and holds a hand out. House stares at it blankly for long moments.
Finally he scowls and claws at the wall and side of the tub
to lever himself up.
“You’re such an idiot,”
---
House lies in bed staring with half-lidded eyes at the
ceiling. He’s wearing sweatpants and a soft, worn T-shirt.
He closes his eyes and turns his face toward the ceiling
again.
---
Even in the dark he can make his way without hesitating to the bed. He knows what side of the bed House eventually settles on, so he crawls under the blankets on the other side.
House snores faintly and when Wilson leans over he catches a
whiff of the man’s breath; when he wakes up, he’ll need to brush his teeth and
rinse with mouthwash more than once.
After a few minutes he puts his hand over House’s. He turns
onto his side facing the other man in the dark. As he listens to House breathe
he remembers Cuddy’s call. She’d sounded more surprised than worried about
House’s current moodiness in reaction to the latest patient case.
A dead girl, little Marie, is hard for anyone to handle. Especially for parents and the doctors who aren’t able to save her when they finally realize what to do.
--- ---
I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
Though we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't.
~ This Woman’s Work ~ Kate Bush