Screwed

Clarity Scifiroots

Disclaimers apply.

Genre: Gen & Josh/Sam-ness

Rating: All

Summary: “Josh, there’s no one under the delusion that you didn’t screw Sam Seaborne.”—Conversation around the poker table is about to get interesting...

Notes: for twilightsrain and an old “best friends” request as well as lizzypaul’s even older request for “coming out”

Second day of June!Fic! 2006

Edited July 3, 2006

---

“Josh, there’s no one under the delusion that you didn’t screw Sam Seaborne.”

Well that flew out of nowhere to smack him head-on like an incoming semi truck.

“E-excuse me?” he asked, disbelief robbing him of coherent vocabulary.

Toby smirked and lifted an eyebrow in CJ’s direction.

“Some of us find it endearing,” she said.

“And some of us think this is more than we needed to know,” Leo remarked, eyeing CJ’s glass skeptically when not fixing Josh with a scrutinizing gaze.

“I—we aren’t.... I mean—!” Josh’s capacity for speech failed miserably.

CJ grinned widely and leaned over the poker table. “Present tense? But I believe ‘didn’t’ is in the past.”

“Good God, woman!” Josh sputtered. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I hear it was a messy break up,” Donna said calmly.

Ginger’s wide eyes sparkled with delight. “And then Sam got engaged—”

“‘Heinous bitch,’ right?” Margaret interjected.

“I believe that’s the term,” CJ said in amusement.

“Ladies, please!” Leo threw down his cards and looked to the other men at the table.

President Bartlet just grinned at Leo and gave a friendly nudge to Josh. “Gossip can’t only be a woman’s sport, gentlemen.”

Toby snorted. “I disagree, but this isn’t gossip—we’re talking history.”

“Precisely,” Bonnie agreed, discarding. “Two please.”

Margaret dealt two more cards. “We’re determining truth, conducting an investigation.”

“So to speak,” Leo grumbled.

CJ shook her head, still smiling. “You can’t tell me that you didn’t think something was going on between those two.”

Scowling, Leo answered, “No, I can’t. Damn it, CJ...”

She laughed and leaned towards Toby. “When did you suspect?”

“Was there ever such a time?” he responded rhetorically, reaching for his glass as he discarded one card.

“I knew within the first few days of working,” Donna volunteered.

“Hard to miss,” Bonnie added.

“I never—” Josh started, hands gesticulating wildly—he’d dropped his cards soon after the conversation began. Groaning, he dropped his flaming face into his hands.

Bartlet patted him on the back. “Stay strong in the face of confrontation, son.”

“We were never involved during the campaign o-or the administration!” Josh protested, parting his hands enough that his voice could be heard.

“Messy breakup,” Donna repeated. Bonnie and Ginger nodded.

“You’re incorrigible,” Leo muttered. “So why not get both birds with one stone?”

“Sam’s sick,” Bonnie stated solemnly.

“It was the take-out at lunch,” Ginger said with a sigh.

“I ate it and felt fine,” Toby countered.

CJ chuckled. “You have a cast-iron stomach, Toby.”

“Why are you so interested in this all of the sudden?” Josh spoke again, his face a little less red now.

“Well, why not?”

“I mean, why not before now?” Josh said irritably.

Donna fixed him with a steady stare. “You’re miserable.”

“Excuse me?”

“Prickly as a porcupine, buddy-boy,” CJ confirmed.

Ginger grinned. “So’s Sam.”

“Exactly,” Bonnie nodded.

“Wait a minute, you ladies are planning to fix up two of our boys?” Bartlet asked with a smirk.

“Oh this is great;” Leo’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“But they’re perfect for each other,” Margaret wheedled.

“Josh?” Bartlet looked down at the man who was slowly sliding his way under the table.

“We’re only doing what’s best for you,” CJ admonished. “You don’t have to be so childish about it.”

“Childish?” Josh squawked from his slumped position.

“That’s what I said.”

“Can’t you let them be adults and work out their personal lives for themselves?” Leo objected.

Bartlet made a small sound of disappointment. “Adults make things so complicated that they often deny themselves.”

“And Sam and Josh have denied themselves too long!” Donna concluded, tone firm.

“I cannot believe this...” Josh muttered to himself.

“You know, maybe we should have waited for Sam to be here, too,” Maragaret considered aloud. CJ frowned, displeased to have her prerogative questioned.

“What have I missed?”

Surprised silence fell over the room’s occupants as they acknowledged Sam’s sudden appearance.

Toby smirked. CJ’s lips parted in a wide grin, and Bartlet was unsuccessful at holding back a chuckle. Josh jumped to his feet and shouted desperately, “Run!”

Sam looked around the table in confusion.

“Run!” Josh repeated, sprinting around the table and out the door, snatching Sam’s shirtsleeve in the process.

The female assistants burst into howling laughter. Bartlet let himself chuckle aloud and even Toby had started laughing. Leo shook his head in defeat, giving into quiet snickers.

~ Fin ~

(P.S. Sorry to all Charlie fans! I don’t know why I didn’t write him in. o.0 By the time I realized it, I was too far along to easily put him in. >.< )