Aijou no Karasu mo [love/affection of the
crow]
Clarity Scifiroots
Rating: PG-ish
Content: Karasu POV, yaoi/shonen-ai (?) sorta, semi-dark I suppose but think of Karasu’s character O_o
They find it so wrong that I
love the way I do. It’s somehow considered a crime of love to want to kill that
object of… ‘affection’. How else is there to deal with
such a weakening, worthless feeling, however? Such a human
feeling. I wonder how it ever managed to travel to Maikai
as it has. Love should just die—no, not a prolonged and suffered death. No, it
mustn’t wither and lay there, waiting to be picked up and saved. It must be
slain immediately before attachment grows and the emotion deepens and clings.
How is my theory wrong? If
anything, I find only my theory correct. What is the use of this emotion—if any
emotion is even of use—? Love cannot be used anywhere other than physical
pleasures that are of no use. Mating does not require love for there are so
many pairings for mates within Maikai that there are
no emotions involved—least of all this… warmth of love.
Still those who know of my
theory and doings will condemn me for my killings. I have done no wrong than to
assure claim and save pain that could make a weak youkai
or any ningen go insane. The death
of a loved one. Aa.
Why do I know that pain? It seems so very long ago, so in the past. I mustn’t
have ever loved as many describe it… I don’t think I have. I would be weak like
the rest if I had ever.
Yet there is a memory…
something that nags within my mind whenever the feeling starts. Like when I saw
the redhead, observed his skills and abilities. Yes, the best of the team from Ningenkai. He is gorgeous and incredible—nearly perfect. It
made me love him all the more, and yet more and more I want to destroy him. To
crush the pale neck between my hands and listen as his breath fades. Only then
could he ever be mine. Only in death can anyone or anything belong to me. I am
not of the living, I will never be.
Oh yes, back to that feeling,
that slight remembrance. It has tingled within my mind on very few occasions;
the most recent being when touching that redhead’s hair. So
soft and silky… a pang of indescribable feeling hit somewhere in my chest.
Was it my heart? I would not know, I have believed my
heart long and dead since I was born. Somehow that cannot be since there is
that… loathed warmth that hits painfully in me when I see the redhead.
And a face clouds my vision,
a lovely female face. Black hair, navy eyes, pale skin and pointed ears; her
smile is secretive and close-lipped. Somehow I know I resemble her for some odd
reason. Yet who she is I might not ever know; I do not believe this person is
alive. And I will never be one to ask if she is. It will forever remain a
mystery, who this woman is that mocks me whenever I find something to love and
then destroy it.
She laughs now, even, as I
watch from high in the stadium and see the fight below where the redhead is
with his companions. His long hair is loose and I wonder at how it might hinder
his movements. I marveled at his skill with the long whip cracking and his
graceful leaps and maneuvers around the platform. How it will be to fight him!
I will just have to get him to… ‘agree’ with my
opinion of having a match between the two of us. I would try to persuade him to
an earlier, private fight where I might try a few certain things with him but I
know that if something like that were to happen, I would suffer greatly from
one of the Toguro punishments they have been famous
for.
Behind a slight smirk that
permanently paints my lips, I ground my teeth together. Toguro. To get both of the
brothers out of the way; then to move free again without worry of one of them
appearing over my shoulder or breathing down my neck. It had been my only
defeat and I was paying dearly for it. No, this fight would end at this
meeting. I would win my match, and possibly those on the Ningenkai
team would be able to get rid of Toguro. Funny, I
would be hoping for them.
I laughed, turning to enter
the dark passage behind me as I did. Silent as always, Bui’s masked face turned
toward me and watched on as I left. He was in my same situation in a way, I
suppose, but it did not matter for me. He was just another who could benefit
from Toguro’s loss. I couldn’t care less; there was
enough to worry about for myself.
It was later that day as I
walked silently through the forest that I sensed the youki
mixed with reiki. Only one of the entire meeting could have that signature and I smiled, flitting
towards the outskirts of the clearing where I felt him. I had been right, of
course, and I saw him there. His red hair waving in the breeze as he looked
towards the other side of the clearing of trees and stared, looking troubled.
Focusing a
bit of my attention that way too, I felt the battle that was waging. So… the younger Toguro was
fighting with the former partner of his. That masked twerp, if I remembered
right. Genkai or some name like that. What would this
pretty redhead care? I would give him cause to worry about something else.
Slipping from the trees I
walked towards him. He most certainly was focused, I mused, for he did not turn
to face me until I was only a foot behind him. Even so, I had to make a soft
noise to get him to turn. I broadened my grin as he whirled around, shock
written across his face.
“Careless now, are you?” I
questioned, looking down slightly to meet his eyes. As a human he was shorter
than I, not terribly, but still enough of a difference.
“Why are you here?” he
inquired, stepping a few feet back to put space between us, I’m sure.
I continued to smile, sure I was unnerving him with it. “I’m not here to
fight. That waits, doesn’t it?” I moved forward. As he started to retreat
again, I reached a hand out, holding one of his arms. His eyes widened
slightly. “Aren’t scared of me, now, are you?”
He didn’t reply. I hadn’t
expected one. “Ensure that you stay alive before our meeting, itooshi, for no hand shall kill you but mine.” His eyes of
emerald stared at me in a mixture of human emotions, but with one I’m quite
familiar with: disgusted horror. His was toned down a bit, him not being the typical
person with a mix of youkai and ningen.
“You’ll be the one dead.” A
third person had joined our midst. Intrigued, I turned my head to the side to
spot a short youkai I had seen throughout the meets
accompanying the Urameshi team.
Before I could judge him, he
was beside my arm with his length of sword drawn out and blade resting against
my throat. Interesting, a fast creature. I simply
raised an eyebrow at him; he stared back at me, applying pressure slowly to my
throat.
“Let go of Kurama.”
“Oh?” I questioned, not quite
ready. This was something intriguing, this usually silent creature with the Urameshi team seemed quite intent not to let harm come to
the redhead.
“I won’t repeat myself,” he
stated flatly, pushing the blade in a bit more to my skin. Dimly I was aware of
blood trickling down my throat.
I smiled and let the redhead
go before jumping back elegantly and studying the two before me. Surveying them
together I could sense the slight bond in their auras, signaling a… ‘certain’ connection. “Fascinating, I’m surprised word isn’t
around yet. Two of Urameshi team bound as lovers.” I
laughed, throwing my head back and sidestepping the little youkai’s
sudden charge.
“Testy fire demon you have chosen,
my darling Kurama.” I smirked and appeared beside him again, resting my hands
on his shoulders and staring at the dark youkai a few
feet away. “But, itooshi, your poor, poor Hiei-kun
will be left all alone.” I brushed my fingertips through the soft, silky hair
and brought them to my face. “You will be mine for eternity ‘for death does
last that long.” I laughed and leapt back as Hiei charged once again, moving
faster than before.
I paused and was rewarded by
the sharp katana being held hardly a centimeter before my face. I met the fire youkai’s eyes, seeing the deep, red blaze there. “Oh…! You
are so upset,” I smirked at him and ignored the blade before me. “Enjoy the kitsune while he remains yours.” I turned and walked away
steadily.
As I had assumed, neither
followed me. Surprising, actually, that the shorter youkai didn’t. Hiei has a reputation of a short
temper. I would have thought he would chase after me with death threats for
going after his lover. It would seem that the youkai
would be possessive, but then again I am not an analyst for that sort of thing.
Somewhere I think it was a
slap in the face to think that someone had beaten me to the beautiful half-youko yet, who would not have noticed such beauty? Even
humans weren’t ignorant enough to leave him alone. At least he had good enough
taste to discard any of the humans that surely went after him and went instead
with a youkai. A strong one at
that.
I would look forward to
tearing those two apart. That meld I had sensed… it was from the sort of love
that I hated most. The kind that was built; was strong and not easily broken; a
committed love bound by more than trust or friendship or love. It was a joining
of souls, a merging hard to accomplish. I loathed it. I would rip them apart,
claim that half-youko for my own and keep him in
death. His lover would be defeated at the same time and would never love again,
would never commit that sin again.
Smiling, I walked casually
through the trees. Oh yes, this battle was going to be my favorite.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Owari
(?)
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Hiya, I just reread my fic Nichibotsu and realized I really liked doing the POV sort of thing so… I decided to be a good aijin and write one from Karasu’s view =) Whatcha think? I have so many views on him! So this was one of them ;;^^ C&C craved!